Paramus, NJ 
jpcounselingcenter1@gmail.com
call: 908-341-1136 
HEALING YOUR MARRIAGE.
Are you worried it’s too late to save your marriage? You left the world of logical thinking and entered the land of blaming, accusation, and emotional and physical chaos.
“Do you and your partner have difficulty talking about anything of importance without it turning into an argument? Does it seem impossible to find solutions to the things you argue about like sex, finances, in-laws, who does what around the house, the kids, and other subjects? Do you end up sweeping things under the carpet and pretending things are okay when they are not? Are there times when you actually are enjoying each other’s company and then one of you says something and all of a sudden it spirals out of control into an argument? Do you believe that your spouse doesn’t have a clue about how you feel about things or who you are as a person and for that matter doesn’t care? Are there times when you are lying in bed feeling sad and lonely and wondering why you even married this person? In the first place do you think that if it weren’t for the kids you would be out of this marriage? Has sex been a battleground in your relationship, one of you longing for more touch, and the other one is just confused about how it’s even possible that you were so compatible in the beginning and now you have a hard time finding anything that you have in common? Do you wonder? Have you simply fallen out of love although creating a long-lasting relationship may feel like a mystery to you? Do you feel like you are on the brink of divorce?” ~ Michelle W Davis
Are all these questions a description of your state right now? Here is a biblical help for you and your partner.
Should we seek help?
I think it’s good we consider a two-sided couple when it comes to seeking help. Most times a wife/husband may be desperately in need of help and suggest a marriage counsellor while their partner on the other hand feels that all they need is just seek their issues on their own. Although this may seem like a viable solution, most times it doesn’t bring out the solution they long for. The Bible refers to the married couple as one body, and therefore if one part of the body is sick and needs to be attended to, it’s wise to attend to it. One can’t claim to be perfectly okay when a part of their body is ailing for they may eventually end up losing the sick part. A spouse may be lost emotionally, physically, and in all aspects, and in most times it becomes hard to restore them to their original state.
My partner does not want to change.
“God does not hold you accountable for your husband’s sins but for the godliness of your response to those sins.” An attempt to change your partner can turn out to be manipulation which does not yield any good fruit eventually. According to Romans 12:18, we are to live peaceably with all so far as it depends on us. The Scriptures also encourage us to outdo each other in doing good. My biggest encouragement for a believer is to remain faithful and to seek help in times when we are hurt.
Biblical help for struggling couples
Christian marriage portrays the relationship between Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:32).
Christ gave himself for the church. Likewise, husbands are to give themselves for their wives and love them as their bodies (Ephesians 5:25-29). And as the church submits to Christ, wives must submit to their husbands and acknowledge him as head of the family (verses 22-24). There is no place for selfishness in a Christian marriage. The couple is told to mutually honor each other (1 Peter 3:2,7). Christian marriage reflects the relationship between Christ and the church. Married people should show and practice mutual love, fidelity, and an attitude of service on both sides.
Of course, we live in a fallen world and Christians often struggle in their marriages. But despite all the difficulties, both partners in a Christian marriage are called to portray Christ in their marriage. This means that they are willing to forgive each other.
Be obedient to God and his Word
It means they are willing to be obedient to God and His Word, which tells couples to be faithful to each other even when things get difficult. It means that the couple strives to honor God in their relationship. God will give us the grace to do that when we ask Him! (Hebrews 4:14-16)
In cases of abuse to you or the children, I encourage you to seek help, for you should feel safe and secure in your relationship.
Am I Depressed? 6 Signs You Should Know About
- You’ve been feeling low or irritable for most of the day, every day for two weeks or more. You might have found yourself worrying about past or future events for long periods of time, or simply feeling sad, cross or tearful. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize a gradual change – have others noticed that you don’t seem your usual self?
- You’ve lost interest in activities that you used to enjoy. Perhaps you have been seeing less of your friends or family recently, have stopped going to the gym, or cooking balanced meals. This is really about recognizing changes in what’s normal for you – no one is saying you have to exercise five times a week or eat your greens, but changes in your routine can offer concrete indications that your mood is changing.
- You are struggling to concentrate. You might notice that you struggle to focus when reading or watching television, for example, or to follow the thread of a spoken conversation. This could be affecting your performance at work, or limiting your ability to perform routine tasks such as food shopping. Again, we are looking for a change in what’s normal for you, so if concentration has always been something you find tricky there is little cause for concern.
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
– Robert Frost
How to Cope with Anxiety.
- According to BBC walking helps you problem solve, combat depression, and aiding your metabolism. Slow down the pace of life
Slowing down the pace of life is important because we cannot accomplish too much without getting burned out.
, - Get connected with others
It’s better to be alone than lonely. Alone you can gather your thoughts but be lonely can be detrimental to your mental health if you remain isolated from the community.
, - Pray
Praying is therapeutic because you are able to express yourself. As the scripture says, Cast your cares on me all ye that are heavy laden and I will give you rest.
, - Seek Counseling
Counseling is rudimentary to your well being. We all need help and guidance as we are not made to be an island.
, - Get Adequate Rest
Reading prior to bedtime can aid with decreasing anxiety and improving quality of sleep.
There are many books that can help with excessive nervousness which is a symptom of anxiety. One book is called Contemplative Prayer for Christians with Worry. Anxiety can affect anyone and it is better to be proactive than reactive. If you are reactive it’s okay as well because after all we are humans.
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“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.”
—Charles Spurgeon
“Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.”
—Charles Spurgeon
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How Music Affects Our Subconscious
- You’ve been feeling low or irritable for most of the day, every day for two weeks or more. You might have found yourself worrying about past or future events for long periods of time, or simply feeling sad, cross or tearful. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize a gradual change – have others noticed that you don’t seem your usual self?
- You’ve lost interest in activities that you used to enjoy. Perhaps you have been seeing less of your friends or family recently, have stopped going to the gym, or cooking balanced meals. This is really about recognizing changes in what’s normal for you – no one is saying you have to exercise five times a week or eat your greens, but changes in your routine can offer concrete indications that your mood is changing.
- You are struggling to concentrate. You might notice that you struggle to focus when reading or watching television, for example, or to follow the thread of a spoken conversation. This could be affecting your performance at work, or limiting your ability to perform routine tasks such as food shopping. Again, we are looking for a change in what’s normal for you, so if concentration has always been something you find tricky there is little cause for concern.
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
– Robert Frost
How to Talk About Your Mental Health
- You’ve been feeling low or irritable for most of the day, every day for two weeks or more. You might have found yourself worrying about past or future events for long periods of time, or simply feeling sad, cross or tearful. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize a gradual change – have others noticed that you don’t seem your usual self?
- You’ve lost interest in activities that you used to enjoy. Perhaps you have been seeing less of your friends or family recently, have stopped going to the gym, or cooking balanced meals. This is really about recognizing changes in what’s normal for you – no one is saying you have to exercise five times a week or eat your greens, but changes in your routine can offer concrete indications that your mood is changing.
- You are struggling to concentrate. You might notice that you struggle to focus when reading or watching television, for example, or to follow the thread of a spoken conversation. This could be affecting your performance at work, or limiting your ability to perform routine tasks such as food shopping. Again, we are looking for a change in what’s normal for you, so if concentration has always been something you find tricky there is little cause for concern.
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
– Robert Frost
Depression: Not Just for Girls?
- You’ve been feeling low or irritable for most of the day, every day for two weeks or more. You might have found yourself worrying about past or future events for long periods of time, or simply feeling sad, cross or tearful. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize a gradual change – have others noticed that you don’t seem your usual self?
- You’ve lost interest in activities that you used to enjoy. Perhaps you have been seeing less of your friends or family recently, have stopped going to the gym, or cooking balanced meals. This is really about recognizing changes in what’s normal for you – no one is saying you have to exercise five times a week or eat your greens, but changes in your routine can offer concrete indications that your mood is changing.
- You are struggling to concentrate. You might notice that you struggle to focus when reading or watching television, for example, or to follow the thread of a spoken conversation. This could be affecting your performance at work, or limiting your ability to perform routine tasks such as food shopping. Again, we are looking for a change in what’s normal for you, so if concentration has always been something you find tricky there is little cause for concern.
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
– Robert Frost